Survey Results: Surprises

OK. The results are in. I have completed my 3 year advertising/success survey. The surprising results and a couple of thoughts about it are to follow.

The Survey

Over the past three years I have viewed hundreds of thousands of splash pages, landing pages, copy pages and more than a few unidentifiable pages. I have kept meticulous track in several categories, and the secrets are just about to be revealed.

Number 1

Girls with big boobs. Yes, I know that is surprising, but girls with big boobs are the number one most successful category as posed by millions of advertisers.

There are several subsets in this category.
A: GWBB and a fist full of $100 bills.
B: GWBB and perfect teeth. Often with a really stupid surprised look on their faces and a fist full of $100 bills.
C: GWBB and perfect teeth in an exotic beach setting. Often with a laptop computer, but not necessary to complete the scene.
D: GWBB with perfect teeth in a mansion. Less common than the first 3.

Number 2

Girls with a Perfect Butt.  Almost exclusively in a beach setting, generally with a small smear of strategically placed sand.

Number 3

Girls with big boobs in the company of a male fashion model. These can be found in the same four subsets as above with one more.

E: GWBB with Male Model and 2 perfect children.

Number 4

Male Fashion Model. Usually found with GWBB above, but sporadically on their own. Inevitably leaning on or at the wheel of a Ferrari. No other automobile is acceptable. Ferrari is often parked in front of a mansion.

So there you have it. Final and complete results of an exhausting scientific study.

For those of us that don’t fit into one of the above categories, I suggest hard work. It seems the only answer.

I’m just sayin’

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