Rumbling, Grumbling, Stumbling…

Grumble

Since it looks like the Angry TE Surfer has retired, I’m going to pick up the reins.  You want to know what is chapping my hide today?  I’ll tell you.

Those ‘rating’ pages.  You know the ones, where they have an official looking list of top traffic exchanges or safe mailiers or breeds of dogs.  Man, it just makes me crazy to see some of the top ten lists, that wouldn’t make the top 1000 if it needed real numbers to back it up.

You see, the ‘secret’ is the small print below the fold that explains that these ratings are strictly the opinions of the posting party AND HAVE NO CONNECTION WITH REALITY.  You buy the page, put your fav, Social Viral Matrix Mail Builder Exchange, right there at #1 and wait for the fishies to bite.  Oh, and you advertise for 47 other things while you do.  It is deceptive at the very best.

Why doesn’t the TE industry have a real, numbers based rating service?  Question of the day.

Bumbling

I just saw an ad, created in AdKreator, that had one logo patched onto another company splash page.  Made it look like the ‘big company’ was embracing the smaller one.  Cheesy at best, an absolute copyright violation at worst.  I know that it would be easy to do, every thing in AdKreator is easy.  Even I can make good looking pages, there.  But that doesn’t make it right.  Like Chris Rock said “Just because you can drive with your feet doesn’t make it a good idea!”

We are all responsible for our ads and our behavior.  Please respect copyright laws and conventions…and report those that don’t respect them.

Rumbling

Repetitive, identical tweets:  I get it.  You are a genius.  You have developed a code (or bought one) that allows you to send the same tweets over and over and over and …In fact, that reminds me, I need to unfollow one.  I haven’t seen an original tweet in over 2 weeks…

Clever sales e mail:  Here’s the deal.  If you want to sell me something, send me an e mail that I can read.  47 colors of highlighted lines (who knew there were 47 highlight colors??) make it hard to read, and so trash material.

Similarly, changing fonts and sizes. Looks like a Circus handbill.  Not today.  Page and a half to the call to action?  Too far for me.  Write a simple, snappy e mail.  I promise your clicks will go up.  Then comes the problem of your product….

Oh, and my favorite:  If you don’t know me, don’t try to act like you are my bosom buddy.  The fact that I accept your e mail does not make me your friend!

At least that is better than the people that don’t know how to use the insert code.  I just love a sales pitch that begins Dear (## fname##).  I am always impressed by that.  If you can’t figure out insert, or how to post a picture with gravatar, you probably don’t have much that I  need.

Stumbling

Deception.  Pisses me off, and I get clipped by it every now and again.  In fact…

This week, I joined a new social viral matrix safelist mailer.  Slick, clean ad copy, it talked about how long it’s been around and the changes for the ‘re launch’.  It promised me that I could send 1000 e mails as a free member that day.  I did.  In the three days since, I have received 7 emails from them.  I may have been the first to send an email in it, and I sent my 1000 to air.  2.5 emails per day is not enough activity to cause me to think that there might be 1000 members.  At least not 1000 members that have responded to any stimuli in the last year…

I was going to name it right here.  Send me an email at tom.bigs@gmail.com, and I will tell you privately.  Put ‘Name that Mailer’ or some such in the subject line so I be sure to open it.  And leave the highlighter off, OK?

I’m just sayin’

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